It is I, your Mother, once again with a story I would rather not tell but feel that I must because once told I can move on and hopefully move past it. I went to Andrea's wedding in So. Lake Tahoe last weekend, and the wedding itself was very nice. Andrea looked so pretty and she married a very nice man named Cal. It was the first time I have met him. But something happened after the wedding, something I have examined and come to the conclusion that, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it! I'm not even sure I can write about it...not only from the shock but just by mere virtue of the fact that out of five children I have only one who truly cares about me. And further...I have concluded that one is fine and certainly better than none. But I admit it was quite an overt lesson and one I would rather not have experienced. I am saddened by it but at least now am informed of what I already knew but didn't admit to myself. I debated with myself about even writing it but my friend, Laurel, wrote a post which I read just a while ago and it was the impetus for me to put it down and get it out, and so it is.
Andrea had planned a boat trip on Lake Tahoe after the wedding for all of us but I elected not to go, for my own reasons. Nothing to do with the people in attendance just my own personal preference of not getting on boats. As I now know, the youngest of you five, who has a tendency to drink too much and is very self-absorbed, began her diatribe about you Angela leaving all of your worldly goods to Carmen (the one who DOES care about me) and nothing to her. My remark when told this was about Angela's dog, Daisy, who was all she had, and when she went to visit the younger sister (who incidentally lives 45 minutes from me) her husband said that Daisy had to be put in the garage. And that's when you, Angela, put your things in the car and drove right back here to my house. And I didn't blame you one little bit!! The very idea that you were asked (told?) to do that made you angry, as well it should have, and I agreed with you. But he's another story one in which I have no interest in writing about either now or later! But it wasn't enough that it was brought out that you left it all to Carmen for which I am truly grateful, as is she, the next step was and I quote, "Have I been taken out of the will?" Angrily said I might add. My first response upon hearing this was, I'm not dead yet so back off because she just revealed her self centered self!! And yes, I intentionally wrote self twice! At any rate, this girl (she's only a woman by age not by growth) who has done little to nothing for me for the past ten years since Don died, is demanding to know if she has been "taken out of the will!" Now just how sickening is that?? Carmen tried to explain but was called an f.....g bitch, Carmen who dearly loves your sister was totally taken aback. As was I when I heard this. And apparently she was so loud that all on the boat heard it as well. Now....the worst part of this is that, it was done at Andrea's wedding party. I had a difficult time digesting that part of it. At any rate, it is no one's business what my will reads and if they choose to make it their business, they should ask me!!! But this is only the tip of the ole iceberg as the adage goes but it was quite enough to tip me right over the edge and also, to discover the true nature of the youngest sibling. So Angela and Shawn, this is only part of the story but it's enough to let you know I refuse to play the victim (thank you, Laurel) and from this time forward, I don't really have to give it any more thought. I am now able to see the picture much more clearly and to also understand the role I shall now play in this drama of life. It is sad, I must confess, but it does not need to stay sad, at least not for me. I'm always better when I know where others stand - the truth is what I have wanted all my life, I can only deal with facts, not role playing! And now it seems...the facts are in, this juror of one may now make an informed decision and at this point, it doesn't get any better than that.
So, enough of this - I am still praying that the two of you are content and certainly much happier with where you are now and one day I'll join you and all this shall be far behind me....us, and we can all share our happiness being in the hands of God. Interestingly, this is a long post and only touches the surface but that's all it needs to do and I have now laid it to rest.
Goodnight to the both of you, just know that I love each one of you and pray for your souls to rest easy, and one day I'll be there with you.
Your Mother